Calabasas Matchmakers Provide Unbeatable Tips

Calabasas matchmaking experts from Los Angeles Singles explain things you must never bring up with your partner.  These things will keep drama and tension out of your relationship.

Marriage and long term relationships are about what you make of them.  Some days everything will be great, some days will feel just likes the movies, and others will be like a downright nightmare.  However, there are a few things you should never say to your partner if you want to have more good days than bad ones. 

Today, the professional Calabasas matchmakers from Los Angeles Singles will review the top things you must never say to your partner, unless of course you’re looking for an argument.


“There is absolutely nothing wrong.”

Telling your partner nothing is wrong is one of the worst things you can do to them.  Not only are you lying, but it can frustrate them when they know something is wrong but you just won’t come out and say it to them, explains Calabasas matchmakers.  Telling your partner there isn’t any problem and there is nothing wrong shows you’re not willing to communicate with them.  When your partner comes out and asks you what is wrong, do not tell them nothing—you both know this isn’t the truth.  

“You have to get a better job.”

Outright asking your partner to get a better job can be a huge blow to their ego.  Instead of going up to them with such a bold statement, you need to find a subtle way to do it.  First, why do you want them to change their job?  Maybe you think it should be less hours per week or maybe you think another career is better suited for them.  Finding a more caring and understanding way to mention this to them is the best option.  Men especially pride themselves on being the providers so their job means everything to them—meaning you have to be very careful with how you approach this subject, explains Calabasas matchmakers. 

Saying Things Like, “You never,” or “You always…”

Telling your partner they never do this or they always do that over and over again can cause it to become engraved in their mind.  During an argument it’s understandable for both partners to be frustrated, but stop overreacting.  Sure, your woman might always nag you or your man might always leave dirty laundry on the floor and never take his dinner plates to the sink, which is wrong, but putting your argument and frustrations aside, saying those words are never going to solve an argument.  Instead Calabasas matchmakers encourage you to stop using negative comments.  Instead try saying things like, “I would really like it if you could start helping clear the dinner table,” or, “I would really appreciate it if you didn’t leave your beauty products all over the bathroom counter every morning.”

“I’ll do it all myself.”

Telling your partner that you’ll do something yourself instead of getting their help is like telling them they’re incapable of doing it.  This one again is better fitted for men who claim to be the providers of the house.  To hear their contributions are not looked up to or appreciated can be hurtful to their ego. 

Before going ahead and skipping on your partner’s help, take a step back and figure out whether or not they’re doing something differently than you would.  If he gets water everywhere when he does the dishes, let it go… he’s not hurting you or doing anything maliciously.  If she leaves her makeup all over the vanity, let it go. 

date 7

“My ex was way better (insert quote here)”

When you start a new relationship, past partners should remain in the past and should never come up during conversation.  No matter how angry you are with your partner, you should never mention your ex in a way that puts your new partner down.  No partner ever wants to be compared with an ex, especially when you tell them your ex did something better than them, warns Calabasas matchmakers.  Saying things like that is bound to cause problems and create trust issues in your relationship.

“We need to have a talk.”

Everyone dreads the, “We need to have a talk” line—you know, the one that is usually said over the phone or via text message.  And for anyone who is on the receiving end of this situation, it can be stomach churning for them.  If something is bothering you, you need to come out and say it right away instead of dancing around it.  That phrase will create an awkward situation because the partner receiving it is expecting the worst and the anticipation can cause a lot of stress for them.

“You behave like your father/mother.”

Usually when one partner tells the other they behave like their mother or father it’s because they’re saying it in a negative way; however, telling a partner this is a way of belittling them.  All this is really doing is putting a fear in their mind that they’re taking on the worst traits of their family.  If their parent isn’t that great and you want your partner to be better than them, do it without making comparisons to them.  Help them improve their attitude or bad habits in a constructive and helpful way.

“Tell me what you were thinking.”

Asking a partner what they were thinking when they did something is just as bad as saying you don’t approve of what they have done.  Instead of questioning your partner’s actions, intentions, and thoughts, try to figure out a better way to learn why they did what they did.  Instead of asking what they were thinking, look for details of the situation and try to figure out what it was that prompted them to do so. 

“My friends all think (insert quote here).”

What you and your friends talk about is none of your partner’s business.  If you are trying to use your friends’ opinions against your partner, you are bound to create trouble in your relationship.  Bringing up your friends’ opinions about your partner doesn’t really do too much good so keep your friends out of your relationship.

“Get out of my face.”

Telling your partner to get out of your face in the heat of the moment or during an argument can cause many problems later on.  Though you might be angry and frustrated, telling your partner to leave and get out doesn’t do any good, explains Calabasas matchmakers.  If you are looking for some time to cool off, simply walk away and let your partner know you need some time alone—don’t just tell them to get out of your face.

If you’re single and looking to meet like-minded compatible singles in the Los Angeles area, contact the dating experts at LA Singles.  With LA Singles you’ll only be introduced people who fit your dating criteria—saving you time and efforts in the dating world.