Glendale Matchmakers Explain Why You’re Dating That Jerk

Dating in Los Angeles can be tough, but our professional matchmakers here at Los Angeles Singles Dating Service have some insight to help you out.

Sometimes, it’s hard to know why you’re dating a man who isn’t right for you.  In your mind, you might be saying to yourself, “I have to put an end to this relationship,” but for some reason or another, you just can’t.  You’ve heard friends ask you, “Why can’t you let him go?”  Maybe it’s something more than you can’t afford to live on your own or the kids love him; there is usually much more depth to it.  There are many reasons, some you might not be aware of.

Today, our Glendale matchmakers here at Los Angeles Singles Dating Service will review the reasons you’re dating a jerk and why you can’t get out of that relationship.


You’re a Commitment Phobe

Commitment phobe people are fairly easy to pinpoint.  They are the ones running and trading in significant others every month and year.  They do this whenever things get too serious or too complicated.  People who suffer from commitment issues are usually the ones who will not admit it.  They are afraid of commitment, but will never come out and say it.  Instead, they find someone who is also scared of commitment and then perpetually try to nail them down in what seems to be a safe relationship.  It’s a safe and more manageable way of being commitment phobic.  You can blame it on your partner and never have to take responsibilities of your own.

You’re Facing Childhood Problems

You might be with someone who reminds you of a parent, someone who is not available, or someone who treats you badly or abuses you.  It might be as simple as someone who is constantly busy, just like your father used to be, or someone who rejects you just like your mom used to do.  The dynamics might be familiar, but because they’re not exactly the same, you don’t associate them with your childhood memories.  But unlike when you were a child, this time, you’re determined to win.  If only you could make this relationship work, then it’s kind of like winning over your parents, right?  The truth is, you’re only fighting a very old battle, one you already lost.

You Only Think about Their Good Qualities

Let’s face it; not that many people are bad to the bone; even bad people do have their tender side.  However, what you have done here is latched onto those qualities and fixated on them.  You have convinced yourself that those moments are what your real partner is about.  If only the other qualities could change, then the person you are with right now would be perfect, right?  At least that’s what you tell yourself, and that’s why you don’t leave the relationship.  Our Glendale matchmakers encourage you to take a step back and evaluate your partner and your relationship, then answer yourself if you’re truly happy.

You’re Only Focused on How the Relationship Started

Relationships with jerks, narcissists, and emotionally unavailable people usually start off great with tons of fireworks.  People like that can be extremely charming during the early stages of a relationship.  The change can be so subtle that you might not even realize it happens or it could happen so fast it hits you like a ton of bricks, leaving you feeling like you’ve done something.  You have become totally fixated on how things used to be in the beginning and think to yourself that you can bring it back.  The truth is, that feeling isn’t coming back unless your partner wants to change things themselves.


You Are Afraid to Face Reality

People who are passive commitment phobes and people who latch onto bad partners often live in a world of la-la-land, not the real world.  They live in a constant state of “if only this would have happened, he would be like this…”  Or, “If only I could lose twenty pounds, he would be into me.”  Perhaps you think “If only I would have a better job, he would be less angry all the time.”  If you’re still with a jerk, ask yourself a question: why are you with him?  If you are only with him because of some ideal vision of what the future will be like, what things could be like, it’s time to snap out of it and face reality.

There Is a Lot of Sexual Chemistry & It Feels like Real Chemistry

You might have gotten involved with a man who you knew from the beginning was bad news, or at least not your type, but for whatever reason, maybe you were bored or lonely and needed a partner to be with so you decided to give this man a shot.  Unfortunately, our Glendale matchmakers want you to know that simply because you have fun between the sheets doesn’t mean the two of you will be compatible for a long term relationship.  Sex releases bonding chemicals, which is why you feel like you’re close to this man.  Sex is not enough to hold a relationship together.

He Promised to Change

If you have gotten to the point where you want to end the relationship, there is a good chance this man has told you he will change.  He might have even gone all the way and cried, begged, and pleaded for you to give him another chance.  So you gave in and stuck around waiting for it to happen, and maybe it did for a little while, but changing bad habits is one of the most difficult things in the world to do.  People have no idea how hard it is when they make a promise to change out of fear.  Your lover might even want to change, and might even think he can, but it’s too difficult and he won’t.  Unless he truly wants it for himself and is 100% dedicated to doing it, it will never happen.


You Can’t Admit Your Wrong Doings

It takes a lot to admit that you have chosen the wrong partner.  Who wants to admit they made a mistake?  No one likes to admit when they‘ve done something wrong, especially that they have picked the wrong partner.  Our Glendale matchmakers want you to find true happiness, and in order to do so, you must first admit you’re not happy with your current partner.  We’ve all dated someone who wasn’t right for us, so don’t let it get you down or stop you from dating.

You’re Avoiding Something

You have problems you’re afraid to face on your own.  It’s a lot easier to stay with a jerk because you don’t want to face the problems you have all alone.  You must realize that being with a jerk will not solve your problems; at the end of the day, those troubles will still be there.

If you’re ready to start meeting quality singles in LA, contact our matchmaking professionals here at Los Angeles Singles Dating Service and let us help you.  We’ll introduce you to compatible, like-minded singles who are serious and fit for a committed relationship. & (310) 438-5157