Santa Monica Matchmakers – The Reasons Men Suddenly Disappear

Santa Monica dating and matchmaking service, LA Singles, reveals the reasons men disappear in the dating world.

He kissed you passionately on the second date, he said he had a good time with you—you were beautiful, smart, sexy, and that he would get in touch with you soon.  You patiently waited for that phone call to come, but a week went by with no phone call at all.  You’re left wondering what could have happened here.  Was it me?  Was it something I said that turned him off?  Was it something I did?  You might even be wondering if you are a bad kisser, right?

Maybe you don’t want to know the reason he didn’t call, sometimes it’s just better that way.  Would it make you feel better to know that the reason he disappeared is because he’s already in a relationship?  How about if you knew that he always makes out with women when he goes out on dates?  Sometimes, it’s better not to know.  It is very important to not take his disappearance personally.  Let go and move on.  Sometimes it has nothing to do with you, while other times it could have been something you did, something you said, or maybe it’s just something about you that turned him off.  Santa Monica matchmakers want to help you move on and find true love, and today they’ll reveal the true reasons men disappear in the dating world.

The Real Reasons Men Suddenly Disappear

1. A Few Dates Don’t Equal a Serious Relationship

Just because you felt that you two had a connection doesn’t mean you both had a relationship.  It’s only been a couple dates, and even if you have slept together, it does not mean he wants to be in a serious relationship with you.  It just means he slept with you, and if you don’t like the way that makes you feel, then you can take this as a valuable lesson.  Santa Monica matchmakers encourage you never to take things to the bedroom until you’re in a relationship.

no spark

2. He’s Not Trying to Hurt Your Feelings

Maybe he believes that if he tells you he doesn’t want to go out with you, you’ll get upset about it.  Most men would rather disappear than say anything that would hurt your feelings and stir up emotions that would have you questioning them.

3. He Might Be Shallow

Maybe he’s looking for someone with a smaller figure, blonder hair, or someone who is more sexually available than you.  Would you want him to tell you these details?  Again, some things are better left unsaid.

4. Maybe It’s the Famous “It’s not you, it’s me”

Most men are very tired of saying this phrase and they know you’re sick of hearing it too.  In today’s world of Facebook, texting, and Twitter, communication has become a lost art for many, and some men find it’s easier not to say anything at all rather than to sound cliché.

5. He Doesn’t Want to Date Someone He Has Feelings For

Some men in the dating world are so scared of commitment that they would rather date a low quality woman.  An example, a woman who will sleep with him but not desire commitment rather than someone like you who is awesome and wants something serious before sleeping together.  You don’t really want to date a commitment-phobe, do you?

6. He Wants to Act Intriguing

If he has said nothing about why he disappeared, it might be because he wants to feel intriguing to you.  Maybe he thinks his disappearing act will make you more interested in him.

7. You Have Bored Him

Maybe you were afraid of saying the wrong thing and you agreed with everything he said; you were afraid of expressing your own thoughts and opinions and you ended up boring him.  Santa Monica matchmakers don’t recommend being outspoken on the first few dates, but you should express yourself; show him the real you, show him who you are.  Watch the news, read the paper, have an opinion, ask questions, and let your personality shine.  Remember that you don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression, especially not in LA’s competitive dating world.

8. He Thinks You’re Unstable

Most men don’t want to get involved with a woman who seems emotionally unstable.  You might have said or done something that reminded him of someone he dated in the past, someone who was emotionally unstable.  Maybe you went off on the wait staff during dinner, maybe you were bashing your ex, or flipping out about a jealous co-worker… Think back to the things you said that might have turned him off.

9. You Brought Your Work Persona to the Date

One of the biggest problems of dating in this modern world is that women bring their work persona on dates.  They take charge, they’re the ones to pick the venue, the time, and anything else that shows they’re take charge side.  Ladies, what works at your office might not work in the dating world.  Santa Monica matchmakers encourage you to leave your work mind at home and bring your femininity when you head out on dates.  This is not to say you can’t be yourself, but don’t be too overbearing.  When you’re out on dates you should be funny, feminine, and easy going.  Don’t be too quick to take charge or forceful; this is one of the main reasons men disappear in the dating world.

date 5

10. He Is Not Available for Dating

If he has recently been separated and thinks he’s ready to date again, the truth is, maybe he’s not.  Or, if he’s recently been widowed, then you know he’s not available for dating.  What could be happening is that he’s comparing every woman to his deceased wife.  He’s not ready for a relationship but doesn’t know it yet.  It’s your job to stay away from any man who is not available for a relationship, unless you’re looking to get hurt.  Santa Monica matchmakers recommend dating men who have been divorced or widowed for at least a year’s time.

How to Stop Men from Disappearing from You

  • Be present and have fun on dates.
  • Don’t think too far into the future.
  • Lower your expectations because not every date you go out on will be the one.
  • Date a few men until you find a relationship-worthy one.
  • Don’t sleep with a man until you’re serious.
  • Date men who are emotionally available for a relationship.

If you’re tired of navigating the LA dating scene on your own, contact the matchmaking team at LA Singles Dating Service and let them guide you along the way.